Tell Him About The Twinkie

I may have mentioned this before, but possibly my favorite movie of all time is Ghostbusters. John and I used to quote this movie to each other quite frequently. We still do from time to time. I recently watched it and was comforted to know that this 80’s movie stands the test of time. It’s still funny (Art Deco, very nice), and Bill Murray is….well, he’s just a genius.

And speaking of things that stand the test of time, how about a Twinkie? According to the Hostess website, Twinkies have been been hanging around on bodega shelves since 1930 (some of them quite literally). President Clinton even put one in a time capsule. I wonder what that one looks like now…

Dan Akyroyd and Harold Ramis (stars and writers of the film) were not immune to the immense power and omnipotence of the Twinkie. They worked it in to one of the best scenes in the film as seen below:

And now I’m going to tell you about a Twinkie. One that I found at Lulu Cafe in Chelsea. I had gone to Lulu in search of Intelligentsia coffee which they brew in their 8th Avenue shop. I found a whole lot more including some homemade Twinkies in different flavors.

At first I was intrigued by the sign (who wouldn’t be?):

And then the flavors! They offered:

Red Velvet Lulus
red velvet snack cakes filled with cream cheese frosting dipped in white chocolate

Lemon Lulus
lemon snack cakes filled with lemon curd, dipped in white chocolate

Brooklyn Blackout Lulus
chocolate snack cakes filled with dark chocolate pudding dipped in chocolate

Passionfruit Lulus
yellow snack cakes filled with passion fruit cream, dipped in white chocolate

I decided on the passionfruit variety and was not disappointed. The cake was moist and dense. In my opinion, real Twinkie cake is a bit insubstantial. I want CAKE. And by that I mean a mixture that is a touch hearty. This one was. And the passionfruit filling was a nice contrast: light, airy with a hint of that fruity flavor piped expertly through the center of the vanilla cake.

A few shavings of coconut graced the top along with a glaze of white chocolate to give the whole thing a graceful “petite-four” flair. I loved it.

So when your spirit storage facility is at capacity and your collection of spores, molds and fungus is getting a little out of hand, don’t panic (and DON’T cross the streams!). Just:

And then call Ghostbusters.

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Marmo’s Fridge – An Exposé!

The refrigerator is probably the kitchen’s most taken-for-granted-appliance. Often it becomes a dumping ground for foods that we don’t know what to do with. Like all the condiments you bought mostly because you liked the packaging, but you really don’t know how to use them. Or those eggs, how old are those? And dare you smell that milk to see if it’s good? Yeah, I thought not.

The state of my mom’s fridge is alarming. I’ve discovered new life forms in there. Marmo is a fantastic cook, but you would never know it from the state of her refrigerator. The Box has threatened to call the EPA, and if you open the door, various items may launch themselves at you, either because of a lack of space or because they’ve been in there so long, they JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!

Often, the Box opens the door, asks the contents of the fridge the following, “Who’s the President?” and receives the answer, “Truman!” Either that, or he opens it and just walks away cursing, usually leaving the door slightly open, creaking forlornly back and forth.

My favorite refrigerator-related incident was when myself, The Box, and Marmo were all gathered in the kitchen ’round the fridge (kind of like the campfire). The Box opened the door, and food containers just came spilling out, splattering on the floor. Marmo looked at the mess and declared, “This place is a PIG HOLE!” To which I responded, “Mom, I don’t think pigs live in holes. It’s either a s@%t hole or a pig sty. But yes, it is.”

Accordingly, what follows is a (mostly) complete itemization of the stuff in Marmo’s fridge (bonus door shelves follow!) spotted the last time I was there. Here we go:

1. Two milk containers, both opened: I grabbed one for a bowl of cereal, asking (innocently), “Why are there two containers of open milk?” Marmo’s response, “Oh, one of them isn’t good.” Then why….oh forget it.

2. Diet Orange Crush: The Box drinks this for breakfast. I can’t even express how grossed out I am by this.

3. One Egg Yolk in a Tupperware Container: Just in case, I guess.

4. Heavy Cream: Also one of two heavy creams in the fridge. Both opened.

5. Pizza Dough: Also, just in case. But this makes way more sense than the single egg yolk.

6. Roasted Red Peppers: A staple in the Iaciofano house. Used for antipasto, salads, and thrown into just about anything. If you can spot all the containers of these, you get a prize (yes, there are more than one).

7. Leftover Take-Out Chinese: But from WHEN??

8. Arm and Hammer Baking Soda: In the hopes that this one tiny box, shoved aaaalllllll the way in the back can do something to tame the madness within. Not a chance.

9. Some Kind of Swiss Chard and White Bean Stew: I actually took my chances with this one and ate it. It was good.

10. That COULD be Leftover Gravy From Thanksgiving: Help us all if it is.

11. Unopened Butter: And yes, our fridge does have a butter shelf, but apparently only OPENED butter goes in there, as you’ll see from the door photograph.

12. Eggs: We have an egg shelf too…

13. Meat and Cheese Drawer: Open if you can. It has been known to be so stacked with cold cuts that it gets stuck.

And now the door! Check out all these mysterious condiments! Who knows the last time they were opened…

14. Apple Jelly: What is this used for?

15. I Don’t Even Know: I could have turned the bottle around to check the label, but I forgot my HAZMAT suit.

16. Ponzu Sauce!: I feel like when you say PONZU! you need an exclamation point. Also, no idea what you use this for.

17. Maple Syrup: This is the good stuff.

18. Lard: Real, honest to goodness lard. Good job, Marmo.

19. Mascarpone Cheese: Once I opened a container of this stuff only to find a fuzzy, green mess. I actually have a photo of it, but I won’t horrify you all with that. Besides, I sent it to the CDC and am awaiting a response…

20. Various Asian Sauces: Plum Sauce, some kind of Thai flavoring…You know, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Marmo cook with these.

21. Hot Sauces: An assortment.

22. Hero Strawberry Preserves: Love this brand. My favorite is the blueberry.

As the holidays are approaching, Marmo’s refrigerator will become even more populated with random (and not-so-random) stuff. A filet mignon, heads of cauliflower and even more butter will all take up residence on the shelves, probably being horseshoed into the tight crevices between the ever-important Orange Crush and the carton of spoiled milk.

It will become a dangerous place for even the bravest of souls, items shifting and changing in the night, so that one moment you put in some left over baked ziti and upon retrieving it, find this in it’s place.

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